Radiation Part 3 AND Reconstruction Surgery

Hi all…

Just trying to get caught up on my blog entries before surgery TOMORROW! EEK….where does the time go?? I will finish with some more thoughts below on radiation and then will talk briefly about my plans for reconstruction. Thanks again for following along…and of course, for being patient with my sporadic postings. J

My radiation treatments consisted of the same routine practically every day, except that every other day was “wet towel” day. On these days, the techs would get me all set up and then they would put a wet towel over my chest where the beams were pointing. They said that this was a way to control and vary the depth of the radiation so that the beams would affect my body more closely to the skin. I find it interesting to think about a wet towel providing another “layer” of my body and wonder how they came up with that technique….or any of their techniques for that matter? How do they KNOW that the beams are pointing precisely where they want them to point? (They ARE invisible, which seems kind of crazy to me.) And how do they really know how much air I need to inhale so that my chest will be at the exact location so they aren’t radiating any of my internal organs? Some things are just beyond my level of comprehension, but I am sure thankful that my doctors get it! I am constantly amazed by the level of technology and medicine we have available to us these days.

So the actual radiation procedure didn’t hurt at all, but what the radiation did to my skin sure was painful! One of our good friends compared the idea of my skin being radiated to the idea that it was, in a sense, being “microwaved”. Which is kind of yucky to think about, but it made understanding the burns easier for me. When I looked in the mirror, I could tell a definite difference in the color of my skin where it was radiated. It was pink at first, then turned a bright “sunburn” red, and then became seriously blistered (bigger than a half dollar size blisters in places). The most painful part was having OPEN blisters both on my chest and under my armpit. OUCH! My skin was RAW and it was NOT pleasant.

Again, my radiation techs and nurses weren’t the most nurturing people on the planet, so they only gave me lotions and protective patches for my skin when I proactively asked for them. (Even though they could obviously SEE my skin was raw, it was like pulling teeth to get extra patches from them. And it wasn’t until I was around other breast cancer patients at a support group that I was told there was a prescription level cream that I could be using to help my open blisters heal. I was really ANGRY that no one at my doctor’s office had even mentioned this as an option to me! Seriously…I shouldn’t have to call my nurse and ASK for a prescription cream for my burns, I feel like she should have just offered it up as an option. Sorry to sound bitter, but I really WAS bitter! *sigh*)

Anyways, I was able to play in a few volleyball tournaments over the course of my radiation treatments (which I LOVED!)…but it wasn’t an easy process to get ready for a day in the sand with open blisters. Armed with gauze padding, multiple rolls of pre-wrap and adhesive wrap for on top, Aaron carefully wrapped me up like a little mummy before we went out for the day. It was a tricky procedure, because I needed to be wrapped tightly enough so the bandages wouldn’t fall off, but I needed to be able to take a deep breath too! J

My skin got so bad toward the end, that they made me take some time off before finishing my last few treatments. While it was nice to have a break from the radiation, I was a little concerned because I didn’t think my skin would be healed for my surgery reconstruction date of September 3rd.

A week before my scheduled surgery, I went in to meet with my plastic surgeon. At that time, my skin was almost completely healed except for a very small scab (about the size of a lima bean). I was surprised at how well it had healed, but she said I wasn’t ready for surgery yet. (Even a very small opening in the skin can cause a huge risk for infection, and she didn’t want to chance it.) We decided it was better to push out my surgery date. And since we were already postponing it, I jumped at the chance to get some more indoor volleyball tournaments in before having another surgery.

My favorite number is 12. So November 12^th sounded like a good day to have surgery. Wait a MINUTE….not only is it the 12^th day of the month, but it is actually 11/12/13! How cool is that? I don’t think I will ever forget that and it must be a good omen….right? I sure hope so, because I am a little anxious about having surgery tomorrow.  

It’s not the idea of having surgery, but the length of the surgery that has me a little nervous. I am scheduled to have a TRAM flap reconstruction surgery. What does that mean exactly? Well, they are going to use skin/muscle/fat from my abdomen (think free tummy tuck….woohoo!!), to form newly reconstructed breasts. The surgery is low risk, but the idea of being under for 8+ hours seems excessively long to me! I have had a few tears thinking about it along the way and I am sure they will flow freely tomorrow morning, but that is just how I deal with each new uncertain challenge and things have always turned out just fine! (Knock on lots of wood….and YES….I really did just knock on wood. *smile*)

So here I am trying to get this blog post up at 11:30pm the night before my surgery. For those of you that know me well…you are laughing at me leaving things to the last minute….AGAIN. I don’t think I will ever learn, but the good news is that I have been so busy today, that I really haven’t had a chance to sit and worry! Worrying is never fun, so I am going to do my best to LET GO and just have faith in the path that God has in store for me. If you have a moment to send a little prayer my way on 11/12/13 for a smooth surgery…I would highly appreciate it. J

I’d better sign off for now…I still have to water my plants, pack, take a shower with special soap (yes….these were the instructions from my doc) and eat something before the clock strikes midnight! HA!

I hope you all know how very much you mean to me! I have the best family and friends a girl could ask for.

Love and Hugs….

Nae

Radiation--Part 2

Ok, so I just realized that I promised I wouldn’t wait another month to update my blog and here it is Oct. 1^st! Technically….it is still under a month’s time since my last post, so I hope you will forgive me for the delay. J

Let’s see….where were we? Ah, yes…..the beginning of radiation.

Monday, June 24^th is when it all began. I drove to radiation, put my little pink parking permit in the front windshield and went inside to undergo my 20 minutes of therapy. I know that they informed me that it wouldn’t hurt, but deep down I was nervous and a little uneasy about it all. It didn’t make me feel any better that I was entering a room where there were warning signs outside the door that read CAUTION “high radiation area” and CAUTION “radioactive materials” to alert the general public. 

Upon entering the room, the technicians took my picture and confirmed my birth date to make sure they had the correct radiation plan in place for my session. After undressing from the waist up, they had me lie down on the table and relax my arms up above my head on my “pillow”. They kept fidgeting with it and telling me to relax as they pushed and pulled my arms every which way. I told them it didn’t feel right and they realized that they had the WRONG pillow underneath me. (it was another patient’s pillow mold, apparently with the same last name). Ummmm…I was a little uncertain before….but now they had me VERY anxious and not very confident that they knew what they were doing at all! They shrugged it off like it was no big deal….but I knew deep down that it really WAS a big deal!

As with any of my treatments, I experienced a number of tears before we began. I think that uncertainty just brings out my fears, and my form of release comes in the way of tears ….so out they came! Unlike, any of my other health care providers (which have all been AWESOME), I didn’t receive any heart-warming reassurances that everything was going to be ok or compassionate hand squeezes…they simple went about their work positioning me where I needed to be while the tears fell down my face. I was unable to even wipe my own tears because my arms were positioned above my head and I was supposed to lay as still as possible. I felt like the techs there that day were just going through the motions of their job with not a care in the world. Didn’t they understand what I was going through? Couldn’t they see that I was upset? I will never forget how I felt that day and how surprised I was at their lack of compassion.  

After a while of them making sure I was setup and locked in place (using the laser lights, a ruler, and making me hold my breath while they measured and re-measured my location), they left the room. I can still remember the sound of the door closing. WAIT! I don’t want to be in here all alone!! Come back!!

It doesn’t matter what I wanted or didn’t want…the therapy was put in place for me to try to avoid my cancer from reoccurring, so I just needed to suck it up and go through with it. Whatever they were going to do to me was worth it if I could remain cancer free!

So there I was, all by myself, laying on this table in the middle of a dimly lit room with a HUGE machine sitting above and below my head/chest area. I wasn’t supposed to move at all but I couldn’t stop my eyes from looking here and there and everywhere before they began. I was alone in this room that was dangerous for anyone else to be in and I didn’t know what to expect.

The techs could see me, but I couldn’t see them. There was a video camera in the room and speakers so I could hear what they were instructing me to do, but I still felt all alone.

I decided that I would keep my eyes shut for the duration of my first radiation treatment. Before they began, I shut my eyes tightly and they didn’t open up until my treatment was completed. I am not sure if I thought that it would hurt “less” if my eyes were closed, or if I just wanted to avoid seeing things I didn’t want to see, but I felt better having them closed, so that’s what I did. 

The machine was located both above and below the table I was lying on and it rotated around me to pinpoint specific angles of my body to radiate. The top part of the machine was in the shape of a circle a with a rectangular piece of glass on the bottom side. Inside the glass you could see a number of different sheets or sections of “lead” coming from each of the long sides of the rectangle to meet in the middle. The lead pieces moved in and out of sight to create different openings or patterns to allow the the radiation beams through. (For those of you that do not know…lead is something that is used to block harmful beams of radiation and often times you will get a lead filled apron to wear when getting x-rays at the dentist or other doctors to protect your body from unnecessary harm.)

The patterns of lead in this machine would change for each burst of radiation I received. The sound of the lead sheets moving around reminded me of a “Transformer” movie with a lot of robots transforming into something different….it was very mechanical in nature.  

On the bottom side of me, they extended out a big round circle (about the size of a small kitchen table) and it was called the “beam stopper”. It was super loud when they first extended it out, but when I asked what it was and they told me it was in place to block the radiation beams from going right through the wall, I understood why it was so noisy! I am sure it was full of lead and extra heavy! The idea of having strong bursts of radiation pointed right at me that could potentially go through the wall and harm other people made me even more uneasy, but what could I do except try to relax and just power through it all?

Once the linear accelerator was in place and the lead patterns were conformed, they instructed me to take a breath and hold it. While I held my breath, I could hear a long, low continuous beep that indicated that they were radiating my body. Once the beep stopped, they told me I could breathe again, while they repositioned the accelerator for the next burst. The length of time each burst of radiation took really varied in nature. Some were longer periods of time with lower concentration beams (maybe 40 seconds) and others were very brief with extremely high concentrated bursts (maybe 2 seconds).  

I don’t know about you, but I realized that I am not very good at holding my breath for long periods of time. There were several instances where I would get panicky that I couldn’t hold it any longer! I think I freaked out because I wanted to be able to breathe, but I didn’t know how much longer I needed to hold my breath and I couldn’t move or talk to them to find out when it would stop.

Having to hold my breath was probably the most stressful part about my radiation. I was happy that I couldn’t feel anything while it was happening, and I was glad that it was only a short period of time (it took about 20 minutes to complete and then I was on my way)...

Below are some pictures of the machine I was describing above (you can click on it to enlarge it)...

 

 

Staytuned for Radiation part 3!

Have a great week everyone…

Love to all!

Nae

Radiation--Part 1

Is it September ALREADY? Having the kids home over the summer made it tricky to get anything done….including blog entries! Now that they are back in school though, I have some more time to reflect on life and get reorganized. Part of me feels a little guilty that I was excited for school to start….and part of me is really embracing it. J

You know what else I am REALLY embracing? The fact that I am DONE with radiation! WOOHOO!!! I have a lot of information and pictures to share about radiation and I don’t want to bore you and dump it all into one entry, so I will start with the first part and then add on in the days to come. J (And I promise not to wait a month before I post again.)

The end of June marked the beginning of my six and a half weeks of radiation therapy. WHY do I still need to have radiation if I am “cancer-free”? Is radiation really necessary? When I posed these questions to my radiation oncologist (separate from my regular oncologist), he told me that just because they didn’t find cancer, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Well that doesn’t seem very encouraging, now does it? I really don’t like to think about that, but it’s not something that I can control, so I continue to be “cautiously” optimistic and try to focus on the words “cancer free” instead. J

The radiation oncologist (RO) also went on to tell me that people with my aggressive form of breast cancer have a 45% chance of cancer reoccurring WITHOUT radiation therapy. WITH radiation however, the rate of reoccurrence goes down to only 5%!!!! Well then….let the radiation begin!  

So what is this radiation business?? How does it work? Does it hurt? Will I have side effects? How many times do I have to go, and for how long? So many questions and uncertainties running through my mind...especially because the only thing I associated with radiation was x-rays and the scary aftermath of nuclear weapons. Yikes!

First step was to develop a plan. My RO informed me that I would need a total of 33 treatments. I was scheduled to have radiation at 1:45 every day of the week, excluding weekends and holidays. The radiation itself lasted about 15 minutes and I was told that it did not hurt at all, but I could experience fatigue and sore/painful/burnt skin toward the end of treatment.

Before I could start my treatments though, I had to undergo preparations and a radiation “simulation”. Undressing from the waist up, I laid down on a table with my head resting on this “flat-rectangular-plastic-pillow-thing”. (I am sure that is the technical name for it. HA!) The nurse directed me to lift my arms up over my head and then she formed the pillow around me to support my arms in mid-air. Once I was in place, they took all of the “air” out of the pillow to create a mold specific to my body and the position they needed me to be in each time for therapy.

Precision is key. And when I say precision….I really mean it. The beams that they use for radiation are so potent and harmful that it is extremely important that you are only radiated where necessary. My plan consisted of specific areas that were carefully calculated to give me the best benefits from radiation, while trying to avoid harming any of my internal organs in the process.

In order to line me up correctly for treatment each time, they gave me 3 very small “pinpoint” tattoos (yes they are real tattoos), and they are located on my left chest wall and underneath my armpit (the side where my 13 lymph nodes were removed). I am pretty sure they are the only kind of tattoos my mom would have EVER allowed. She always used to tell me I would be “grounded for life” if I got a tattoo or ever went bungee jumping. *smile* I think that was her way of telling me that she didn’t approve of those things. I think I get a pass for my current circumstances….and no worries mom…you couldn’t pay me enough to go bungee jumping! J

Anyways….my radiation simulation occurred in the actual room where I would be having my treatments. They basically went through a trial run of having me lay on the table with my molded pillow, while using a number of red laser lights to line me up precisely where they wanted me to be. I think that there were at least 3 different laser lights hanging down from the ceiling and 2 additional lasers on the side walls….all pointed directly at me. They used these laser lights, in combination with a ruler and my tattoos as a guide to position the table and then lock it into place so that I was in the exact location for my actual treatment.

Once locked in place, they instructed me to take several deep breaths and hold them as they took some more measurements and rotated the “linear accelerator” (aka radiation machine) around me.

Now that the simulations were done and the preparations were in place, I was ready to begin my radiation treatments the following week.

Stay tuned for more info and pictures on my next blog entry, Radiation Part 2…

Love to all…

Nae

Well hello again!

Where does the time go? A lot has happened in the past month or two and I am behind on keeping you in the loop. ;) My apologies, but I am sure you understand. I last wrote about my double mastectomy and the days that followed. (This was back in May, which seems so very long ago already!)


After a little bit of a rough go at it with surgery in May, I was happy to have June bring some sunshine my way. I started the month with getting fitted for my prosthesis (translation: I got two new bras that had mesh pockets that you can slide silicon prosthesis into). They aren’t “real” and they aren’t “mine”, but they make me feel comfortable and more confident then I have in a long time. I think they look very natural and I am reassured by this every time someone gives me a confused look when I tell them I had a double mastectomy and they look at my chest. It’s a little AWKWARD, but I am thankful that people don’t “know” that they are fake, unless I tell them. J

So what is it like to not have a chest anymore? To be honest, it’s kind of weird. I don’t have a lot of sensation where they stitched me up (the nerves take a while to come back) and there is also somewhat of an indent where my breasts used to be, which is kind of crazy to think about, but I know that it is just temporary, so I try to roll with it.

It was a little over a month before I got to step out onto the volleyball court again (my first time in the sand). As most volleyball players know…your timing in the sand is quite different then indoors on a hard court. The sand provides somewhat of a challenge to run around in and jump out of, but one thing I hadn’t thought of was that my center of gravity had also changed. Anyone want to guess what part of my body hit the ground after my first initial jump in the sand?? My feet touched the ground first, but my balance landed me right on my butt! HA! I felt a little clumsy, but I quickly realized that the weight distribution of my body was just different and I needed to adjust. (I do not wear my prosthesis when I play volleyball.) It was a little bit of a learning experience for me, but I think I have it figured out for now… J

It was great to be able to get fit for my prosthesis, but my favorite part of June was that Aaron and I were able to take a wonderful trip to Ireland together! Two of our volleyball friends were scheduled to get married in a castle in Ireland and I made sure to do EVERYTHING in my power to arrange and rearrange my doctor’s appointments, surgery and radiation, so we could fit this trip in. J I wasn’t sure it was going to work, but I am SO thankful that it did! I think it was just what the doctor ordered at the halfway point in my cancer treatments-----chemo…CHECK, double mastectomy…CHECK...time for a trip before radiation and another surgery CHECK!!

Not only did we get to go to a wedding in a castle, but we got to spend time with a lot of wonderful friends and reconnect with each other after a rough 6 months of dealing with cancer. I feel very blessed that we were able to enjoy this time together and the only “side effects” I really encountered were some seriously swollen ankles on the trip, and I really can’t complain about that at all. J I was so excited to not have any restrictions while we were there, and my taste buds had returned to normal after chemo, so I was able to enjoy the food, the cider and the ice cream! Hooray!! Here are a few pictures from our trip… (you can click on each individual collage to see them up close.)

 

 

More info on radiation in my next entry…thanks for following along!

Love to all,

Nae

The week after surgery...

In the days that followed my surgery I slept A LOT. I juggled medications for pain along with my regular medications each day as I camped out in the recliner chair trying to heal. And even though it wasn’t the most pleasant task, Aaron graciously emptied my drainage tubes every morning and every night for about a week. Life seemed fine after surgery and I wasn’t experiencing any really serious complications….until I decided to get dressed up to go out one night.

Now it wasn’t that I *wanted* to get dressed up to go out (I had been comfortable just lounging around the house in my comfy pants and my surgical camisole), but it was our book club night and we had a special guest lined up. One of our book club members had entered a contest online and had won! National Best Selling Author, Jane Porter, was flying to MN to take our book club out to dinner! I had read two of her books and I really didn’t want to miss it. I was looking forward to getting out of the house for the first time since surgery, but the “dressing up” part had me in tears. L

I struggled to find a shirt that fit the way that I wanted it to. It needed to be big enough to fit all three of my drainage tubes and bulbs underneath, but I didn’t want to look like a big circus tent in the process! After painfully trying on multiple shirts (raising my arms above my head was a difficult task at the time), I decided there was no getting around it….I was just not going to be happy with whatever shirt I selected.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I had tears streaming down my face. Getting dressed up did not have that same “feel good” feeling anymore. I was bald, overweight, had ugly, discolored fingernails, and my shirt had voids where it shouldn’t have had any. Aaron saw the pain in my face and greeted me with a warm hug and reassuring words that only he could give.  

I *NEVER* thought that it would be this difficult! When I first got my diagnosis I was more upset about losing my hair then losing anything else, but now that I had lost both my chest and my hair I felt sad. I didn’t feel feminine at all and that was really hard to swallow. As hard and as painful as that was for me, I knew that it was only temporary, so I took a deep breath and went downstairs to wait for my ride.

I was very thankful my friend Angie offered to pick me up for book club that night. She had been through a similar medical journey and had constantly been there for me, offering a listening ear and many words of support along the way. Her support continued that night as the floodgates opened and I tearfully told her how I was feeling. She validated my feelings and offered encouragement as I tried to prepare myself to go out into the public eye.

Thankfully the rest of the evening was lovely…good food, good conversation….it was just what I needed!
 
The following day, my friend Steph spent the day running around to different doctors appointments with me. She held my hand when the surgeon removed my drainage tubes, she took notes when I talked with my oncologist and sat with me during my Herceptin treatment. I was blessed to have her there with me and appreciated the support she provided.

It was the first time I had met with my oncologist after surgery and I really wanted to talk more in depth with her about this notion of being “cancer free”. It was a light-hearted appointment and we shared many laughs and hugs along the way. She told me that they rarely have this kind of response to chemotherapy treatments and she was extremely pleased. I asked her what this meant moving forward and she said that I would need to come in for check-ups on a regular basis and that I should let her know if I detect any weird lumps, bumps or pain along the way. She also prescribed a new drug for me to take called Tamoxifen. What is Tamoxifen? Best way for me to describe it is to copy text straight off of WebMD:

Tamoxifen is the most commonly used hormone therapy for the treatment of breast cancer.

Many women have breast cancer that tests positive for estrogen receptors (ER+). This means that estrogen promotes the growth of the breast cancer cells. Tamoxifen blocks the effects of estrogen on these cells. It is often called an "anti-estrogen."

Tamoxifen slows or stops the growth of cancer cells that are already present in the body. It helps keep the original breast cancer from coming back and helps prevent new cancer in the opposite breast.

I will take Tamoxifen daily for the next 5-10 years and the possible side effects include….stroke, blood clots and hot flashes. Here’s hoping the side effects for this drug stay far, far away from me!

That’s enough for today….thanks for following along.  More blog entries to come regarding my radiation therapy, etc…

Enjoy your Fourth of July holiday!

Love to all…

Nae

Details of surgery...better late then never!

I am little behind. Ok A LOT behind. I am one of those people that has the best of intentions, but not always the best follow through; especially when life gets BUSY. And let’s be honest….when is life NOT busy with 3 kids in school, sports and other activities? The problem with having good intentions however, is that people have no idea what you are “thinking of doing” or “planning to do”; they just know what you actually “DO”.

So if I am not able to actually “do” something, I should at least talk about it, right? That way people know that I “mean” to do it…I just don’t know when I will actually “get” to doing it. *smile*

The chronological side of me really wants to post blog entries in the order they happen, but the realistic side of me knows that if I wait to do that, then I might not be able to post for a while, and I really want to give you all the latest on how things are going. So I am going to go ahead with an update about how surgery went, but will probably circle back at another time to talk about and share Race for the Cure pictures and other things I may have missed along the way.

Here goes…

My surgery was on Tuesday, May 14^th. I arrived at the hospital around 5:45 a.m. to start the registration process. I was a little nervous, but happy to have Aaron right by my side to reassure me along the way. I knew that it was probably a routine surgery, but as with any surgery, there is always a small chance that something could go wrong. I guess that small percentage entitles me to worry at least a little bit anyways, right?   

Luckily I didn’t have a lot of time to sit and worry. The morning actually went by pretty quickly. I got to change into one of those flattering gowns that doesn’t close all the way. I answered a lot of questions. They took my vitals. I had to put on a silly hat that seemed way too big for me (not sure why since I have no hair, but I am sure I looked lovely…it was a cross between a lunch lady hat and something that resembled Bozo the clown J).

My photographer friend Tina got up bright and early to come to the hospital to document this chapter in my journey. (Thank you my dear!)  I know that it’s probably not a common thing to bring one’s photographer along to the hospital (unless one is going to have a baby), but I wanted her there to capture this…regardless of how painful or hard it might be, it is part of my journey and I wanted to record it.

Before going into surgery they gave me an IV and my 2 surgeons came in to my pre-op room. 1 surgeon would be doing the double mastectomy and lymph node removal and the other surgeon was scheduled to do reconstruction surgery later in September. They conferred on what would be the best area to remove and what they should try to keep for reconstruction later. My chest area became a canvas of sorts as they drew on me with a purple marker.

Shortly after that, I remember lying down in my pre-op bed. To be honest…the rest is a total blur. I don’t even remember entering the surgical room, which is very different from any of the other surgeries I have had before. From there, the surgery took an hour or two, and then I spent some time in recovery before they wheeled me to my hospital room.

My 1^st nurse was wonderful. She made sure I was propped with pillows where necessary and made me feel comfortable in general. (I am SO thankful for nurses that are nurturing and offer to help instead of waiting for you to ask! I am NOT a fan, however, of the nurses that are all business and tend to be huge task masters….thankfully I had only 1 of those during my stay!)

My surgery required me to spend at least one night in the hospital, but I was experiencing A LOT of pain on my left side, so I ended up staying two. I had 3 drainage tubes inserted into my chest area. 1 on the right side, and 2 on the left side. (Tubes are inserted into surgical areas to help keep your swelling down, and the drainage bulbs need to be emptied and  measured a couple of times a day to track your healing process.)  

I expected to be extremely sore throughout my chest area, but I really only had serious pain on my left side (where they removed 13 lymph nodes). I am sure the pain was due to the extensiveness of the surgery on that side and the doctor also thought that one of the drainage tubes might be sitting on one of my nerves (hence the excessive tears and yelps whenever they moved that one specific tube…OUCH!). Luckily, I had pain meds that were helpful in easing my pain so I could rest easy.
 
Aaron was a trooper and spent BOTH nights in the hospital room in one of those uncomfortable recliner chairs. I told him he didn’t have to stay, but I was very thankful to have him there with me. I even had a couple of dear friends stop by to spend time with me. (Thank you Mon and Kari….I enjoyed visiting with you very much!)

How did the surgery go? Well….the surgeon originally told Aaron that it went like he had expected it would, which is good. What’s even BETTER though, is that the pathology reports of the tissue and lymph nodes that were removed did NOT SHOW ANY CANCER!!! HOORAY!!!!! 

I was surprised to hear him utter the words “cancer free”. What? Did I just hear what I think I heard? As wonderful as that sounds, I found it hard to process this. It was an unexpected statement and I wasn’t positive if he knew FOR SURE that I was cancer free, so I embraced it with a sense of “cautious optimism”. I wanted to talk to my oncologist on a deeper level to figure out what that really meant.

In the meantime, I was content to collect my things and head home to rest some more. They sent me home with pain meds and directions on how to empty my drainage tubes twice a day. Luckily, someone had recommended that I purchase a special camisole before going into surgery. It zipped in the front and it had two velcro pockets to hold the drainage bulbs in place. (If you know someone having this kind of surgery, I would HIGHLY recommend them getting 2 of these after surgery. One to wear, while the other one is in the laundry. J )

Below are some pictures that my photographer friend, Tina Vega, captured at the hospital the day of my surgery. (You can click on them to enlarge the pictures.)

 

 

I am working at getting caught up on my blog entries….hoping to update you more within the week! Thanks for being patient with my sporadic-ness. *smile*

Love to all!

Nae

What's New, Cool Friends, and a Few Pictures. :)

First off, Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all of you that have children! I hope you realize how valued you are, even if your kids don’t tell you as often as you’d like. J Being a parent is a tough job at times, but it is also very rewarding. I hope your rewards out-weigh your challenges and that you feel loved every step of the way.

I meant to post to my blog last week, but got a little sidetracked. Besides trying to tie up all sorts of loose ends before surgery, I came down with strep throat on Wednesday. UGH!  When it rains….it pours. Not only did I get it, but all 3 kids came down with it too! Oh well, the good thing about strep is that once you are on antibiotics for 24 hours, your symptoms typically subside and you are no longer contagious. (It’s not like getting a cold that lingers on and on, thankfully!)

After about a day, I felt much better and was able to tackle some more things on my list. When I got the diagnosis, I was concerned that my surgery would have to be postponed, but I was happy to hear that since I was feeling better so quickly, it would not affect my surgery after all. SO THANKFUL about this!

I was originally planning to walk in the Race For The Cure with my team, but my doctor advised me not to walk, so I got a wheelchair instead. He didn’t think it was a good idea to wear myself down before my surgery on the 14^th. (A huge thank you to my friend Erikka for lending me her grandmother’s wheelchair for the race…it worked out perfectly!)

I will post more later about the Race when I get the pictures all sorted from my photographer friend Jodi (who cheerfully braved the chilly temps yesterday morning to capture us all). Thank you my friend!

I DO, however want to post some pictures from a while back. Remember when I said I have the best friends? Well, I do. And in this post, I want to recognize my volleyball Divas for being some of my dearest friends.

After shaving my hair during chemo in January, I was contemplating what I would wear on my head for my first volleyball tournament. I couldn’t wear my wig, so I settled on wearing a little black hat with a red headband to match our jerseys. I was a little apprehensive about showing up at a tournament for the first time without hair, but was quickly uplifted by my wonderful friends once I arrived.

Everyone was there early to greet me and they even brought me a gift. A gift, for me? The words on the outside of the package confirmed something I already knew in my heart. ”We have your back on and off ‘the court’. We Love You So Much.” Jen, Monica, Carol, Shari, Nicki, & Amy.”

Well you know what? I Love You Guys TOO!!

I carefully opened the gift (knowing that I would want to save the wrapping with this very special message from my team; my FRIENDS). What awaited me on the inside, was a beautiful surprise that brought tears to my eyes. New team jerseys…in MY HONOR. The Divas are going PINK!!! The color of the shirt represents what we are fighting and the word TENACIOUS represents just HOW we are going to FIGHT it! Not only did the Divas get new shirts for our team, but they also ordered Tenacious shirts for all of the Diva kids and spouses. (Pink for the girls and black for the boys.) I am sorry, but HOW COOL IS THAT??? J It was an amazingly thoughtful gesture and it still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it! (A huge shout out to Shari for designing the shirts, and to Business Impact Group (BIG) in Chanhassen for printing them so quickly!)

The shirts probably look familiar because they were the springboard for designing the Arrowhead Benefit shirts for the tournament this past March. We decided to use the same artwork, but we updated it to say Arrowhead, instead of Tenacious. The Divas spent hours upon hours preparing for the Benefit and it was a HUGE success. Calling for donations, making blankets and gift baskets for the raffle, calling t-shirt vendors for quotes, sticking hundreds of labels on raffle tickets, donating their time to site direct during more than one tournament, the list goes on and on! My Divas worked HARD and it showed! Thank you ladies!! *mwa*

I also have to send out a huge thank you to Rick Barto (MN Volleyball Association) for organizing the benefit tournament every year, for helping us every step of the way, and for his donation to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Thank you Rick for all of this and for your supportive words and prayers...I have so much respect for you and all that you do and give to those around you! (Gosh…I know I am forgetting people…there were several people that helped site direct at the tournament so that more money could be donated….Aaron, Cathy, Leslie, Traci, Brenda to name a few.)

I am pleased to announce that we raised a total of $3,629 to donate to Susan G. Komen!! WOOT!! WOOT!! Thank you to everyone that bought a t-shirt or raffle ticket, or donated items or time to this great cause!! I appreciate it more then you will ever know…

Here are some pics of our jerseys and the Arrowhead Benefit (you should be able to click on each picture individually to see them up close):

 




What’s next? Well….surgery is bright and early tomorrow morning. I honestly haven’t had time to really think or worry about it, but maybe that’s a good thing. J I know that I will be nervous in the morning when it all begins, but for now, I am trying not to think about it as I cross more items off of my list of things to do. If you have a moment to say a small prayer that all goes well….I would welcome that!

To all my dear friends and family…I love you very much and will post more as soon as I am up to it. Thank you for all you have done to support me thus far….

Love to all,

Nae